The Struggle of Motherhood
CW: Infertility, Miscarriage
I have been holding these photos for a post that I felt was fitting and deserving of their showcasing. And as today is Mother's Day and I'm sitting here reflecting, I felt like today was the right time to post this incredible woman. Miss M and I have known each other for a few years now. She has shared her story and struggles with me and allowed me to be part of her journey in a small way. I wanted to write a post that would honor her as a woman and the struggles she has gone through and is currently facing.
When I sat in the doctor's office only to be told that my body was going through a miscarriage, I was utterly devastated. The one thought I couldn't shake was, "I'm less of a woman because of this." That's a complete lie, but the sheer grief of feeling like my body wasn't doing the one thing I felt it SHOULD be doing was overwhelming. Many women long for that positive pregnancy test and it never comes. Many women long to hold the baby they were expecting in their arms, and it doesn't happen. Many women go through painful procedures, processes, and monthly heartbreak every time their period shows up because it means once again not this time.
And the thing I hear so often is, "I feel like less of a woman." Motherhood is beautiful and joyful for many women, but for others it is a painful, unattainable dream that haunts them relentlessly. There are reminders everywhere in faces of family, friends, strangers on the street, and acquaintances you bump into. And it's painful.
To those of you who are struggling this Mother's Day, you are not less, you are not unworthy, you are not unimportant, and you are seen. I see you. I understand. You are truly not alone in your heartbreak. And to those of you who are still trying, still pushing on, like Miss M, I honor your resilience and hope.